Author: Julian

I wish someone would’ve told me nothing in high school matters almost immediately when you get to college. I feel so disconnected from my past life and experiences. UK has been such a new page. I’ve gone from being in the “popular group” and having tons of friends in Roswell to essentially feeling like a small kid on a big campus. I know these things take time but it’s tough to trust that and wonder what that’ll look like. I guess I just don’t know how to put myself out there.

I feel stranded. I miss being able to go out whenever I please and exploring and being able to do things on my own time. I feel trapped or helpless to do the things I really want to do.

College is hard.

I played in my first pickleball tournament with the Kentucky club/team. We traveled 3 hours up to Indiana where we competed through NCPA against other colleges in a weekend. I myself played in the challenger bracket playing both mens doubles and singles. Our d1 team was fun to watch and cheer on. Cheering on pickleball is such a funny thing to me, it’s weirdly serious while also seeming like a casual game to me. I played okay, it was really just good to be there. The talent of some kids is crazy, they are getting paid to play and offered money to play at specific schools. Ive met great people in the club and I will definitely be playing throughout my time at UK.

Long distance from Kentucky

Man summer is flying by. It’s 1 am July 1st now. Im excited to see Sophia in Texas tmrw. Just in time to get home to celebrate the 4th. Things are going great to be honest. Im back at work, I’m picking up new hobbies, I’m exploring more. I also feel like I’m trying to drop bad habits which feels great. I need to get back in the gym, I feel smaller. I’ve rapidly dropped from 150 to 140ish without trying. The new pickleball club must’ve made that happen. Im playing great pickle and tennis lately, it just feels better and better. My one handed backhand is coming along, which I’ve always admired. Im picking up fishing, where I splurged $330 and bought everything I could need. Fancy rod and reel, and too many baits weren’t necessities. While on the bright side I caught my personal biggest on the first fish I caught with it! The second one I caught got gut hooked and unfortunately couldn’t save.

I went to my first NASCAR race the other night! It was a hour south in Hampton, Georgia. The race was electric, and following the race social media is saying this was the best in years! I dragged 4 buddies down and we had Mexican outside of the venue and my first tailgate in Mary Ruths Truck. Watching cars fly 190 MPH around the 1.5 Mile track was mesmerizing, and there’s nothing like the sound of these cars. I felt more excited every time they came around. The hometown hero of Georgia won, Chase Elliot. NASCAR is definitely something I will be keeping up with now and look forward to more races. When I’m older, it’ll be bucket list to own a NASCAR team.

Always seemingly my least favorite holiday but it always turns out alright. Eventful big parties, everyone comes out, everyone very dressed up. Turned out good this year. Sophia is home, so good to see her and catch up even if it’s just driving to Starbucks and playing ping pong. She’s leaning into Palm Springs with the family which is exciting.

Still working hard. I enjoy the restaurant. It’s an easy way to work hard and focus on something without being overcomplicated. I love the hispanic kitchen and they love me. I really wish I knew better Spanish to communicate with them. We work around it with simple hand gestures and my small spanish vocabulary. By this point I usually know what they want from me or are gonna ask me. I can tell they like when I’m put on shift with them. It feels good to bring them their soda’s. It’ll be hard to leave this job soon whether it’s in time for tennis season, or leaving for college.

I casted my vote for the first time in the presidential election! Mom accompanied me and rode down to the Roswell library. Unsurprisingly, my first time going into my city library as well. Mom said we got lucky with a short line being that I voted early. Waited about 5 minutes in line, stepped up, verified my I.D. and made my choices for the 47th president and other government members. It felt good to take part in my democracy and being able to rep the “I voted” sticker. Today was also my first time wearing contacts. Really a struggle to get them in and out. The payoff was great, I’ve never been able to see the tennis ball so well and lead to me playing the best I have at drills tonight. Returning serves good, predicting the ball, prepping for contact, and being able to see my opponents facial expression after I rip a baseline winner.

The cold has arrived, just as I was starting to think it wasn’t coming. It’s mid October and there’s a million things on my mind as the year is wrapping up. My thoughts and concerns never seem to stay the same. College and school is blowing by quicker than ever. I know big decisions are upon the horizon. I still have my eyes set on Colorado University of Boulder. I’ve only seen the campus once over summer. Is that all it takes? I guess it’s just a leap of faith and feel that’s just supposed to come to me.

I struggle with using my time efficiently, or maybe I’m just doing too much. Am I working too many nights? Should I stop tennis to work hard and make money? Should I stop working to grind tennis in hopes of a successful first and last high school season? Am I at the right job, should I be in a field I’m more interested in like a car dealership? Do I workout enough or is it a waste of time. Do I need to do less therefore sleep more? It’s hard to keep up late night homework sessions but it feels like it’s my only option sometimes. Then again should I be more focused in school and using every minute of the day to knockout work, contrarily I can’t help but take a break and scroll on my phone. Should I be saving my money and investing, or blow it all on a bike or 440i convertible. It’s an endless discussion in my head occurring daily, what should I do next.

In a perfect world, I could wake up have a big breakfast, rip through town in a sweet supercar, maybe a McLaren or something badass. Bounce back and forth all day from tennis to working out, playing basketball, skateboarding, eating, sweating, being outdoors. Then finish off with a party joined by friends.

For now I’ll just keep pushing into 2025.

Today is the last day of summer. I spent last night going out to my senior camo party with the whole grade. I dedicated today to getting prepared for my first day back meaning, finishing my book, getting my backpack ready, cleaning my car, doing my laundry etc. I woke up this morning knowing I had a lot to get done, and I started off my day by praying, which I rarely do. I prayed for good focus today, and less anxiety, and for my parents and where I’m at in life. A hour after my prayer everything seemed to go to shit. My manager texted me that my coworker called out sick and I had to come in, me being on call at 4pm. Instant frustration was my first reaction. I knew my coworker wasn’t sick, and I had already explained to him how I had a lot to do today and couldn’t take his shift in the first place. I scrambled to my book to start making progress, but with knowing how my day will plan out, it was hard to stay focused knowing how much I had to do. I went to work and got it over with 7 hours later. Im ready to quit this job, and that was the only thing on my mind all shift. Im getting sick of the environment I’m in, but I feel attached because of the money. It’s hard to beat. So here I am, 11:11pm, 300 pages to go in my book, with school 9 hours away. This is the last way I wanted to start my senior year.

What’s up what’s up how’s the quarantine going. For me I’ve been pretty bored lately. I’ve sneaked out to the skatepark twice now but we might have to stop so we don’t get in trouble. I’ve been playing games a lot online with friends and that’s pretty fun because I can still talk to them. Well I’m not sure how much longer I can handle quarantine but I hope I survive the corona.

Ayyyyy, I got a new phone, the XR. I’m super thankful for my dad and mom for letting me get one. My old phone broke because at soccer practice someone stepped on it during water break. It’s so broken the screen as a huge black spot. Well now with my XR I have some cool features like Face ID, no home button, Animoji and more. Bye bye!!!